


Changing Places

by jordsy91



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Bodyswap, F/M, FuckYeahDarcyLewis, Tropes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-27
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-05-16 18:18:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5835952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jordsy91/pseuds/jordsy91
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darcy Lewis is a strong independent woman who don't need no man, even if that man is Steve Rogers. Steve is the man out of time. Until a lab accident happens, and suddenly their roles are reversed.<br/>Or, this is the story of that time where they accidentally might've swapped bodies. Thanks a lot, Jane.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> -I know, I'm starting another fic. This one shouldn't be too long. This idea occurred to me and I couldn't leave it be. I'm in the market for a Beta/someone to share ideas with, for all my stories. My husband is great to bounce ideas off of, but he's got no interest in tropey fluffy fanfic, or appreciation for Chris Evans' ass. :P In the meantime, I apologise for any mistakes. I wrote this with an 11 month old climbing all over me, smashing the keys on my keyboard and trying to press the power button on my laptop.

It had started out as any old normal day for Darcy. She had woken up early, still tired from yesterday's efforts in the lab with Jane. They had been up until the wee hours of the morning, until Darcy had begged Jane to finish up so she could "just sleep for a few frigging hours Jane, not everyone is nocturnal, for Christ's sake!" Jane had reluctantly conceded, rubbing her own tired eyes, on the condition that they were up and back to work before 9am. 

Jane had been on the verge of a breakthrough for weeks now, which meant she was really pushing herself and by extension, Darcy, to figure out the last puzzle piece to opening an Einstein-Rosen Bridge. It was getting harder and harder to get Jane to step away from her work, and nearly impossible to get her to sleep at her desk let along a _bed_. By the time Darcy had coaxed Jane into sleep, she only had four hours until her alarm would be screaming. Knowing Jane would hate her for it, but taking the risk, she set both her and Jane's alarms to wake them up at ten, which would at least turn a meager four hours of sleep into six.

"I'm telling you, Darcy, we're so close. I just need to fine tune the machines." Jane was already excitedly tinkering with the equipment when Darcy arrived at 10:30, coffee in hand. She inwardly groaned at Jane's energetic enthusiasm. Darcy couldn't function without a solid eight hours, and she was going on two weeks now without a proper sleep. She was going to have to put her foot down soon.

She had hoped Thor's presence in the tower would keep Jane asleep longer, so she could catch a bit of sleep on the lumpy couch in the lab before Jane arrived. Luck wasn't on her side today, evidently. 

She took a large swig of her coffee and set it down at her desk before focusing her attention on her boss. Jane was standing atop of a chair, which was balancing precariously on her desk. She was using a screwdriver, wires and a whole lot of duct tape inside the panel of their scrap-metal creation. 

"I'm going to need Thor. I just can't reach-" Jane's voice was strained as she tried to stretch and reach the control panel. She teetered dangerously on the chair. Before Darcy could make a move to help, Steve had arrived, just in time.

"Whoa!" Steve rushed in, steadying the chair. "Do you need a hand?"

"Thank you Steve. Yes, please. Could you climb up here and help me with this? I can't reach." Jane explained. Steve offered her his hand, and she began climbing down on clumsy, unsteady feet. 

"I can do that. Just tell me what you need me to do." Steve said. Once Jane was safely down, he hopped up on the chair in one steady, fluid movement. Darcy could've fanned herself at the show of agility. She shook her head slightly, looking up at Steve's ass appreciatively. The owner of said ass turned to look at her, greeting her good morning with a genuine smile.

"I need it rewired." Jane said, as if it was bleeding obvious. "Just let me grab my notepad."

Darcy came to the front of the machine to hold it steady. She didn't technically need to yet, though she would have to come and adjust the knobs and dials on the front of the machine when Jane was ready. She could never pass up the opportunity to be close to Steve though, and he didn't know she wasn't needed yet. 

Her crush on Steve had been embarrassingly long-lasting, but she kept it under wraps - she hoped - from just about everybody but Jane and Natasha. Jane was her best friend, and had been there for many a drunken rant. Nat, however, just knew things. Nat insisted she should take her chances, but Darcy was happier to admire Steve from afar instead of potentially ruining her friendship with him. Besides, as she had put it to Jane once, who wouldn't be interested in him? He was a genuinely good guy, he had legs for days, and he could speak _French_ for God's sake!

She looked up to find Steve patiently waiting, just taking in the lab as he looked around."You're a lifesaver, Steve. She was gonna kill somebody... most likely herself, or me." She said, huffing a small laugh despite her frustration.

"No problem, we can't have that." He said with a wink. 

Her face warmed, and she could feel the tinge of pink blush creeping up to shade her cheeks. Damn him and his sexy, sexy face. 'Get it together, woman!' Darcy thought, biting her lip.

"Right, can you switch the wires for me? They're all backwards." Jane said, returning with her notepad in hand. Steve immediately focused on the matter at hand.

"Okay, but you're going to have to walk me through this, Jane. I have no idea what I'm doing." Steve was squinting at the control panel, wires in hand, looking utterly lost. For all that he had caught up with the "newfangled technology kids these days were using", as he had sarcastically put it once, Darcy had never given him a crash course on tinkering with Jane's inventions.

"Okay so see the blue wire? I need you to connect that from point A to point B." Jane explained, holding up a quickly sketched diagram on her notepad. Steve nodded, and got to work. Jane sat at her computer, starting to look at the readings the machine was putting out. 

"Jane!? Are you kidding, is this still plugged in?" Darcy asked incredulously. "That's asking for electrocution!" 

"Are you sure this is safe, Jane?" Steve asked, looking uncertain. He looked from Jane to Darcy, who was shaking her head in frustration. There was no arguing with Jane when she was on the brink of a breakthrough. She shrugged at Steve in a 'well, what can we do?' manner, and he shrugged back.

Jane waved her off, jotting down notes. "It's fine, and it's working! I need it turned on so I can see if we're doing this right. Connect the red wire from B to C please, Steve." Jane held up the paper diagram again; she had added more to it now.

Steve did as he was told, cautiously now to avoid an electric shock. As soon as the wire was connected, the machine started buzzing. Before Steve could move away, a bright light emanated from it, engulfing him and Darcy. He hopped down quickly, wrapping his arm around Darcy to get her to safety. The light got brighter, until they could see nothing but white-gold light. Then everything went black.

When Darcy woke again, she felt more rested than she had in weeks. She rolled over onto her stomach, groaning in contentment. She didn't even notice that the groan that escaped her sounded more masculine than she was used to. Or that her boobs weren't smooshed under her like they usually were. 

In a sleepy haze, she ran her hand up her stomach to discover it wasn't soft anymore. It was muscular and defined and hard. Her eyes opened like a shot and she darted out of bed before she realised she'd had the thought to. She was in the medical wing, she realised. Before she could shout for anybody, she heard her own panicked voice from the next bed.

"What the fuck?!" The voice shouted, looking at her from her own body. She looked from herself, sitting across from her, to the body she was currently occupying. She'd know this body anywhere. 

"Steve?" She asked, quickly realising the redundancy as she heard his voice pass through her lips.

"Darcy?" He looked back at her.

"Oh, fuck."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What an awesome response. Here, have another! *throws chapter on ground, Thor style*

"Dammit Jane." Darcy muttered, shock sinking in. She sat down gingerly on the hospital bed, looking across at herself. This was going to take some getting used to.

"This is bad. We have to tell someone. What the hell kind of machine was that, anyway?" Steve shot up and paced back and forth. "Jesus Darce, are you always this exhausted?" He asked, coming to a stop to sit down again. "You need to do more cardio. Do you ever sleep?"

"What're you trying to say, Steve?" Darcy snarked playfully. He balked immediately, and she took pity. "I'm just messing with you Stevie. 20 hours of science a day doesn't leave much time for exercise. Or anything, really."

"Fair point." He conceded.

"We should probably call Jane. She'll be our best bet at fixing this." Darcy assured, though she felt sure of absolutely nothing right now. Where was Jane, anyway? She'd landed both of them in the hospital wing, surely she hadn't just disappeared? Darcy hesitated for a moment, beginning to consider the implications of what had happened. 

"Tony's never gonna let us live this down, is he?" She asked.

Steve shook his head. "Probably not."

Tony was antagonistic enough without new ammo. He was going to have a field day with all of these new possibilities. Hell, last month Jane nearly had to contain Darcy to stop her from tasing Tony when he'd taken it one joke too far. Though to be fair, that was at that time of the month, so her patience had been thinner than usual. Darcy, upon remembering the incident had a scary, scary epiphany. Her Aunt Flo was due to visit; the Communists were arriving. The crimson tide was nigh. In about 2 days. Oh, fuck.

"You know what Steve, we'd better not waste any more time." Steve agreed, and so off they went to find Jane. It was a whole new challenge for Darcy, to be the tall, fast walker of the pair. Usually she was the one that lagged behind in any group. She was short, and she wasn't that fit either. She was mindful to walk at a reasonable speed as they left, so she didn't inadvertently race off as she and Steve walked out out of their curtained off room and down the hall. They didn't make it very far, however, before they were intercepted by a junior Doctor.

"Miss Lewis, Mr Rogers. We can't let you go just yet, you both require assessment." He explained, holding his hands up in front of his chest in an effort to block their exit. It was Steve who spoke, from Darcy's mouth. 

"We're okay, really. We have something important to take care of. Jarvis can monitor us." Steve rebutted, moving to walk again.

"More important than your health?" That was Nurse Carla's voice from behind them. "Don't worry Lani, I've got this." She waved the junior Doctor away, and herded them back into their beds. Nobody messed with Nurse Carla. So they stayed for the routine blood tests, blood pressure tests and physical examination. The Nurse tutted when Darcy's (or rather, Steve's) blood pressure was too high. "Miss Lewis, your blood pressure doesn't look too great. You need to go straight home and rest. I'll expect you back in the morning for another reading. Mr Rogers, you're perfectly healthy. Make sure Miss Lewis gets home safely."

Steve spoke up as they left the medical wing, stepping into the elevator. "JARVIS, what is Jane's location?" 

"In her lab, Miss Lewis. Shall I take you to her floor?"

"Yes please, JARVIS."

Darcy watched the elevator doors close with trepidation. They were on a helluva time limit, and if her calculations were right, Steve was going to be in of need chocolate, a hot water bottle, and feminine supplies very soon. He'd also be feeling very, very crabby soon.

"So, Steve. There's something you ought to know." Darcy began nervously, rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet to dispel some nervous energy. Did Steve's body need to move all the time? Steve looked at her in askance, and so she continued. "My Aunt is coming to visit in a few days."

"Oh!" He exclaimed, and Darcy was sure he understood her meaning. Then, he continued speaking. "I'm sure they can fix us up before then. I'd hate to spoil your plans with your family." Darcy literally facepalmed. This was going to be painful.

"No, uhm. That's not what I meant. I mean my monthly visitor." Steve still looked confused. 

"She's talking about her period." A voice rang out through the elevator, and they both looked around, shocked. Clint Barton's head was sticking through the emergency hatch above their heads. Steve went immediately red.

"For Christ's sake, Barton. A little delicacy!" Darcy groaned, flushing red in embarrassment herself. Clint dropped down in between them, grinning like a loon. 

"I heard there was a lab accident, but I didn't know it was gonna be an awesome one. So, you've body swapped huh?" He asked redundantly, a shit eating grin plastered on his face.

"Yeah, Clint. A regular Anne Rice moment. Except this is so not what we bargained for." Darcy asked, and Steve cleared his throat to speak. It didn't have the same effect with Darcy's voice, but it got their attention all the same.

"Have you seen anything like this before?" Steve asked, almost desperately. She understood completely. She didn't even want to deal with her lady business's monthly tantrums. She sure as hell didn't want Steve to be confronted with that in his first 48 hours of being a woman. She looked at Clint, hoping against hope that he would say yes, give them an easy fix and be on his way.

"Nope." 

Damn. 

"Well fuck me sideways." Darcy muttered. Steve made a choking sound, and Clint just snickered. 

"Please, god let me be there when you guys tell Tony."

They both groaned in frustration.

"If he can switch us back in 48 hours, or, preferably before one of us needs a bathroom break, I'll never say another negative word about him again." Darcy said, as she and Steve stepped out of the elevator together. Clint waved goodbye to them cheekily, climbing back into his hiding spot and pulling out his phone and dialing.

"Thor? Yeah, it was a success. They've done the old switcheroo. Time for the next stage."


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, we get a bit of gory detail in this. Sorry.

Thor smiled upon receiving Clint's message. "This is most joyful news. I hope they will not react too harshly when they realise it was not an accident. They will now be able to see themselves from each others' eyes." He said, though his tone belied no nervousness. He had complete faith in his plan.

"I'd be more worried about their reactions if I didn't know they were going to spend all their time ogling themselves. We wouldn't have had to resort to such drastic measures if they'd just bitten the bullet and told each other how they feel." Clint replied. 

Clint honestly just hoped Darcy wouldn't recruit Nat in her inevitable revenge scheming. A vengeful Nat was a scary Nat, and she could withhold sex better than a nun with the right motivation. Anyways, they wouldn't be doing this if it wasn't for the right reasons. They were practically asking for it. 

Darcy and Steve had met nearly a year ago now, and had been sweet on each other ever since. Despite everybody's best efforts, they had both placed themselves in the "friend zone" so to speak, too afraid to cross those boundaries. When Clint had said this to Darcy, she'd called him ridiculous, and started on a long rant about how the friend zone didn't exist, and it was a misogynistic construct. Clint had cut his losses on that approach after that. They'd tried inviting them both to the same place, and cancelling at last minute so they were stuck together. That hadn't worked either. The two of them were so afraid of being rejected by the other they staunchly refuse to see what was right in front of them. Really, this was their fault.

"Rest assured, they will be thanking us when all is said and done. This is Asgardian magic. It wouldn't have worked if they were not each other's greatest hearts' desire. Idunn will bestow her greatest gift upon them if they are truly a soul match. My mother made sure of that." Thor assured Clint. "We shall wait and see what happens from here. Have faith my feathered friend." Thor left Clint with that teasing jibe. If anybody had cause to worry, it would be Thor. When Jane found out Thor had tinkered with her equipment, Asgard wouldn't be far away enough to escape her wrath, Bifrost or no.

 

\---

"So let me get this straight," said Jane, looking between Darcy and Steve. "You've swapped bodies? I need to pull up the data readings again!" She said hurriedly, rushing to her computer to print them out. 

"This is her reaction?" Steve asked Darcy incredulously. "I expected a bit more shock and awe. Or, I don't know, concern?" He sat himself on Darcy's desk as he usually did, though he had to push himself up where he normally was tall enough to just sit down. Darcy almost snickered, until she realised that she would've been technically laughing at herself. It seemed Steve had caught her thought process though, as he shook his head good naturedly.

"I'm not surprised, really. We're her new, favourite puzzle. Something like this shouldn't have happened. We might as well get comfortable. She's gonna wanna know everything that happened from our point of view." Darcy replied, flopping down into her seat. Jane soon joined them, papers and pen in hand to comb through her data readouts and take notes. They talked and researched until late that night, ordering food in and giving Steve a crash course in reading the data. It was at 2am that Steve finally begged off, citing exhaustion.

"I'm beat. I can't look at any more numbers tonight. Maybe we should sleep on it." He said, stretching and yawning. "I'd forgotten what it was like to be this tired." Darcy stood to walk with him.

"Coming Janie?" Darcy asked, turning to look at her. Jane waved her off.

"Five more minutes. You two go on ahead." 

"Ok. We'll see you in the morning, I guess." Darcy said, grabbing her work bag off her desk and slinging it over her chest. She removed the bag again, slinging it over her shoulder instead. "This is gonna take some getting used to. I'm not used to being this broad, or tall, or fast." She lamented, missing her own body already.

"It's not so bad really. I'm used to sudden transformations." Steve drawled, smiling cheekily. Those good spirits wouldn't be around tomorrow if he was still in her body. Darcy's not-so-well-kept-secret was that she was a raging, weepy PMS beast.

"Just you wait, soldier boy. You'll be regretting saying that tomorrow. Night Jane!" They walked out of the lab and to the elevator. "So, what do we do? Do you go back to your place and I go back to mine?" She asked, unsure of what button to press.

"Uh, that's not really possible. Tony has all the Avengers suites rigged with eye scans, fingerprints, the whole nine yards. I can't get there in your body. It might be an idea to stay close in case we switch back on our own." Steve speculated. 

"Ok, good thinking. Your place, or mine? I don't mind." She asked. Steve pressed the button for the Penthouse. Ok, his place it was then.

 

After they had passed through the security checks at Steve's door, they started making themselves comfortable. Steve made them coffee, and they sat on the sofa in the living room. Darcy looked around at the room, taking in the details as she tried to summon her confidence for what she had to say next. There were only a few homely aspects to the neat, modern apartment, and it became clear to Darcy that Steve was a man who had never settled into one place for long. 

Bucky had told her small parts of his life; Steve had lived with his mother, Sarah Rogers, until she had passed. He had struggled to make rent on his own afterwards, and ended up living with the Barnes family until he got a steady income selling newspapers on the street. It was then he and Bucky had moved out into their own place. Then the war had started.

Steve had retained few possessions of his early life. A framed black and white picture of a woman she assumed was his mother sat on the end table of the sofa, next to a cream coloured lamp. The only other personal adornment was a sketch book on the coffee table. The apartments' navy-blue carpet and cream walls screamed 'impersonal, yet classy'. She suddenly felt sad for Steve. He must have read her like a book; he seemed to know exactly what she was thinking.

"It's not much," he said. "But it's home." He followed her gaze around the room.

"It's lovely, Steve." She reassured. It was time to bite the bullet and broach the awkward subject at hand. "So, I know I mentioned this before, but, uhm. My period is due the day after tomorrow. If we haven't swapped back by then.."

"Darcy, sweetheart. Look at me." She met his eyes. "I've fought in a war. I'm in combat all the time. I don't mind a little blood. I just don't want you to think I'm taking liberties with your body." He reassured, explaining his earlier embarrassment.

"Oh. I just don't want you to be grossed out by it. It takes a lot of getting used to, especially using the supplies to handle it." 

"I'd never think you were gross, Darce. Plus, we used tampons in the war to plug up bullet holes. I'm sure they haven't changed much." 

Darcy looked at him incredulously. Steve would soon find out how very wrong he was.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Steve discovers he was so, totally wrong.

Steve found out just how wrong he was about his ability to be a woman, alright. He found out the very next day. He woke up with an ache in his lower back that seemed to travel around to the front and down his legs. He couldn't tell where the ache began and ended. He rolled over in his bed, looking upon his body with a sense of dread and disappointment. He was still in Darcy's body. 

Darcy had slept on his couch, despite his chivalrous insistence that she take the bed. She had argued the point that technically Steve was the woman now, and seeing as she was the serum enhanced one, her body could handle a couch sleep better than Steve's at the moment. She'd had him there, and so he'd headed to bed in Darcy's form, changing into one of his t shirts for bed that now seemed to dwarf his body. He'd come back into the lounge room with a red face, toting a pillow and blanket for Darcy to use. He was embarrassed that he'd had to strip Darcy's clothes off and expose her to his eyes. It all felt very non-consensual despite Darcy's insistence that it was fine, they had to change and use the bathroom. 

He'd felt slightly better about that when he walked into the lounge room and saw Darcy with her shirt off, admiring his physique. 

"Sorry, I couldn't resist," Darcy had said sheepishly, "how is your body even real?" She'd marveled, running her hands across the washboard abs, following his hip muscles. Steve had then faced a new reason to be red faced. She found him attractive. Though the sight of his own body did nothing for his state of arousal, seeing Darcy's admiration for him, even if it was only purely physical, left him with a wetness between his legs he was not accustomed to. Oh. Oh. This was what it felt like when Darcy was aroused... and wasn't that a thought. 

"The serum worked wonders." He quipped, and bade her a goodnight. He returned to his bedroom, leaving the door open. Though his temptation to further explore Darcy's body was great, and he felt a distinct warmth spreading through his pelvis at the thought, he was not going to take liberties with Darcy's body. He was a gentleman. If he'd ran his hands down his rib cage, feeling the swell of Darcy's breast and the softness of her hips under the guise of getting comfortable... well. That was his business.

The morning brought no such thoughts of taking liberties, though. It did, however, bring a whole new sensation of wetness between his thighs. Oh man. He'd really hoped he wouldn't have to deal with this side of being female, but after his false bravado to Darcy last night, he really didn't want to let her down. He went to his bathroom and tidied up as best he could without looking at anything, and eyed the bag of clothes they had sent for last night. Darcy hadn't wanted to know how Stark Industries had her measurements and sizes on file, but she'd had to admit it was handy, as she'd given the bag of clothes to Steve. 

Steve started rifling through the bag, looking for the underthings and the feminine supplies. He slipped on the first pair of underwear he saw, before picking up a packet of pads. There were no instructions on the box, but he surmised the sticky part was to ensure it didn't move, and promptly stuck in to the source of the bleeding. Wait, that didn't feel right. He tried to adjust it, but it was stuck to the hairs there. Fuck. He pulled on it slowly, with a yelp of pain. 

Darcy rushed to the bathroom door. "What's wrong, Steve?!"

"Uhm, I'm having trouble with the, ah, the pads." Steve called through the door, still wrestling with the sticky little fucker. Darcy stifled a laugh, and managed to compose herself. "What kind of trouble?" She asked. "The kind where this sticky fucking thing won't sit right. Ow, fuck!" He groused, clearly getting angry. 

"Ah, Steve, you didn't happen to do it sticky-side up, did you?" Darcy asked.

"Yeah, why?" He replied uncertainly, and Darcy almost felt sorry for him. She dissolved into a fit of laughter.

"Steve, the sticky part sticks to the underwear! You do not wanna go giving yourself an amateur wax." Darcy advised, in between snickering laughs, trying to catch her breath. Though her lady-garden was regularly groomed, she liked to keep a little bit of hair for her own comfort, so there was certainly enough hair to get stuck.

"Oh. Well the box didn't say that!" He replied hotly, affixing a new pad to the underwear and yanking them up angrily. If he'd had super hearing still, he would've heard Darcy muse to herself in the lounge room that clearly a super soldier didn't always mean you were super smart. He'd jinxed himself with his cavalier attitude to periods and womanhood, as if it didn't take some women years to figure out what worked best for them. Yep, Steve had this coming to him. He soon exited the bathroom fully dressed. Though he seemed fine, she offered him some painkillers.

"Here." Darcy said, holding out the small bottle of pills she kept in her bag for such occasions. Steve waved her off. She brandished them again, and made him accept them. "Seriously. This is my body you're riding around. I know you're in pain." 

Steve swallowed the pills without any further delay. "Ok, maybe just a bit of pain. You do this every month?" 

"Every month."

"If I ever get my body back, I'm going to have a lot more sympathy for the female plight." He said wryly. Any response Darcy might've had was cut off by a knock on the door. "JARVIS, who's there?" 

"Mr Barnes is at your door, Mr Rogers." 

"Ahh, shit." Steve swore to himself, before crossing to the front door to let his friend in. 

"Oh, Darcy? What're you doing here so early? Steve, you sly dog! " He winked at who he thought was Steve. "You finally-" Bucky was cut off by actual Steve.

"Buck! It's not like that. Darcy and I have a problem." Bucky looked back and forth between the two. Either Darcy had taken to talking about herself in the third person, or..

"No way!" He exclaimed, looking from Steve to Darcy. They both nodded. He collapsed into laughter, holding onto the door to keep upright. "You know who's gonna love this?" He asked, pulling out his phone and finding Tony in his contacts.

"BUCKY, NO!" Steve cried, but his height was no match for Bucky's anymore. 

"BUCKY, YES!" Bucky laughed, running down the hall, holding the phone to his ear.

"I really regret introducing him to the internet." Darcy mused. "Hey, I could catch him now!" She took off after Bucky despite Steve's calls to come back. Following at what felt like the slowest pace he'd ever ran, he heard a distant crash come from the common kitchen. How in the hell was he supposed to keep everyone in line now?


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The madness continues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry! I know, it's been ages! Life with a toddler is exhausting :(  
> This is a short and sweet one.

When Steve finally reached the kitchen, he found Bucky sprawled underneath Darcy, her arms around his lower legs. They were both laughing hysterically; from their positions it looked like Darcy had ankle-tap tackled him.

"JARVIS, can you please send footage of that to my laptop? That is like the best thing I've ever done." Darcy requested, eyes sparkling with amusement as she finally disentangled herself from Bucky.

"Doll, if that's the best thing you've ever done, I don't think you're doing recreation right." Bucky responded, waggling his eyebrows. "I'd be happy to show you." 

Steve rolled his eyes in the background and offered Darcy a hand, ever the gentleman despite the fact that he was actually the woman this time. "Keep it in your pants, Buck." He hit back, and was met with a wink for his troubles. That was his Bucky; an absolute outrageous flirt. To her credit, Darcy didn't usually bat an eye.

"In case you haven't noticed Buckeroo, I'm not exactly myself right now." She snarked, though her eyes belied her interest. He was a very attractive man; she couldn't say she'd never thought about it. So sue her!

"Doesn't bother me. Stevie can come too if you like." Bucky replied, and Darcy made a show of looking contemplative. 

"Hmm.. well it _would_ tick a few things off my bucket list in one go." She said, tapping her chin with her finger, appearing deep in thought. Steve choked on air at that. Wasn't that just the prettiest mental picture he'd ever had? 

Bucky shot her a sneaky wink, and she nodded minutely. He walked towards her, licking his lips salaciously. Darcy burst out laughing, unable to keep the act up any longer once she saw Steve's look of shock.

"Christ, Barnes. We're gonna give him a heart attack. That's my heart he'll wreck!" Darcy joked, patting Steve on the back. Steve was grateful that female arousal was easier hidden than he was used to.

"Very funny. Tease the average human." He joked sardonically. Darcy shrugged as if to say 'what can you do?'.

Now the two were sufficiently distracted, Bucky pulled his phone out again. Caught up in their own secret exchange, they noticed too late.

"Hey, Tony? You're not gonna believe this!" He started, vaulting over the kitchen counter and away from the pair before they could react.

"BAAAARNES!! YOU'RE A DEAD MAN!" Darcy yelled in Steve's best 'you've let me down and you're let America down' voice, starting up the chase once again. Bucky's phone wasn't on speaker, but with her enhanced hearing, she could hear Tony's incredulous reaction over the phone. 

"This is like my Birthday and Christmas all in one! The Darcicle!" He howled with laughter through the phone.

There'd be no hearing the end of this now, even if they switched back.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The cat's out of the bag, but can Tony actually help them?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's been a while. Sorry! Also sorry for my complete and utter lack of proper scientific knowledge, lol. Enjoy!

The bright side to Tony knowing they had body-swapped was that they had his help finding a solution. It was easy to forget that behind Tony's sarcastic exterior he was an actual genius, Darcy mused as they were brainstorming in his lab. Steve sat beside her looking miserable and pale, clutching his midsection. Tony had looked questioningly at that, but neither Darcy nor Steve had deigned to answer him. Bucky, the bastard, had mysteriously gone missing after his call to Tony. Darcy thought that she would definitely be calling upon him later, though. Steve seemed to listen to him best, and he really needed a friend right now.

 

"So, what exactly happened before you switched?" Tony asked, looking between the two of them curiously. It had taken a good long while for Tony to compose himself, but he was all business now. The man loved a puzzle, and this was a once-in-a-lifetime case to solve. Jane had finally emerged from her lab, too, and had been stumped by the accident. She sat opposite Tony with a large mug of coffee, staring between Darcy and Steve with disbelief.

 

 

"Steve was wiring one of Jane's machines. That's about all I can say. Jane?" Darcy looked to her friend.

"You think it was my tech?" Jane asked uncertainly.

"You don't?!" Steve hit back incredulously. He seemed to realise he'd been a bit too harsh, and mumbled out an apology. "Sorry. Hormones."

Tony cackled again.

"Leave him be, Tony. Steve has a point, though. Janey, what was that machine supposed to do?" Darcy asked, handing Steve her bottle of water. "Here, drink. It helps." She assured.

 

 

Jane stood up and began to pace. Darcy knew she only did that when she was at a loss for ideas. That didn't bode well.

 

"Thor gave me some radioactive gems from Asgard to help pinpoint and direct the Einstein-Rosen Bridge when we got that far. I designed the machine to use the gems to do that. It was only supposed to give me readings and turn them into data for coordinates.. it wasn't supposed to actively do anything!" Jane promised. 

 

"Well, it sounds like we need to talk to Thor." Steve said, with gravity that wasn't usually present in Darcy's voice. She didn't know she could sound so.. Captain-y.

 

Tony looked suspicious. "What is Point Break up to..." He wondered, tapping his chin in thought.

 

"There's just one problem there... Thor went back to Asgard last night. I'm not sure how long he's going to be gone... at least a week." Jane said, grimacing.

 

Darcy shook her head. "You've got to be fucking kidding me."

 

Tony looked from Darcy to Steve and back, as if he was waiting for something. Steve looked at Tony questioningly.

 

"Aren't you gonna say it?" Tony asked mischievously.

 

It dawned on Steve, and he didn't look impressed. "Fuck 'Language', Tony! This is fucked." He said, working up into a righteous rage in a way only he could.

 

Tony held his hands up placatingly, in apology. "Okay, yes. It is fucked. But we'll figure it out. In the meantime, why don't we go back to Jane's lab and see if we can recreate the circumstances of the event. It might be as simple as that." Tony said hopefully.

 

Steve nodded in agreement, and they all made their way to the lab.

 

 

Tony and Jane led the way through the hallways that led to Jane's lab, and Darcy headed up the back, rifling in her messenger bag for something. Yes, she was still using a bag despite being in Steve's body. She was unused to using pockets for anything and old habits die hard. Steve hadn't minded though, and she got the feeling he didn't much conform to stereotypical gender roles and appearances. He trudged along in front of her, huffing in annoyance as he swept the long dark locks of hair out of his face. Christ, but he was a cranky woman.

 

"How do you handle having your hair in your face all the time?" He asked Darcy in annoyance.

 

"Just used to it I guess." She shrugged, finally finding what she was looking for. She held a hair tie up in victory. "Here, let me pull it back." She offered. Steve nodded, and Darcy pulled it up into a messy, yet secure bun.

"Thanks, Darcy." Steve said with a smile. "I guess I make a pretty terrible woman. I don't think I've ever been so cranky about nothing." He huffed out a self-deprecating laugh.

 

"Steve, I've been a woman my whole life, and it doesn't get any easier. It's seriously not something you can help. Hormones are a bitch." Darcy comforted.

 

Steve seemed no more reassured, so she pulled him to her on a whim, giving him a gentle hug. He returned it eagerly, and when they pulled apart Darcy graciously avoided commenting on his misty eyes. They continued on to the lab, and Darcy mentally crossed her fingers that they would find a solution to this body-swap in this experiment in Jane's lab. She could handle a little bit of hormones, as much as she loathed them. Steve? Not so much.

 

"Come on, lovebirds!" Tony called from the door of Jane's lab. They quickly broke apart, glaring at Tony. They quickly caught up, entering the lab to find it unchanged from the accident.

 

"Okay, so let's recreate this properly. Who was where?" Tony asked.

 

"Steve was up on the chair, fiddling with the machine." Darcy supplied helpfully.

 

"Ok, well seeing as Steve is no longer a super-soldier for the moment, that's your job." Tony supplied helpfully. Darcy groaned.

 

"Ok, but fair warning. I still haven't figured out this body." She said, walking to the chair and climbing up gingerly. Jane handed her the tools and directed Steve to come and stand by the machine, where Darcy had been before the accident.

 

"Alrighty, let's get started!" Tony said, clapping his hand together eagerly.

 

Darcy looked down at Steve, and spoke lowly. "Do you ever feel like you're the punchline in some cosmic joke?"

 

Steve huffed out a laugh. "More often than you'd think."

 

 

. . .

 

 

After a long afternoon of experimenting in Jane's lab, Darcy and Steve were no closer to being themselves again. Steve's mood had declined slowly but surely over the course of the day from bad to worse, so at dinner time Darcy declared it was time to sleep on it and hope Thor came back soon. They thanked Jane and Tony for their help, and retired back to Steve's rooms where she prepared some dinner for them while Steve soaked in a hot bath. It was then that Darcy decided to call Bucky, inviting him around for dinner and a movie night. He'd arrived within ten minutes, and she'd put him to work in the kitchen peeling and slicing potatoes for dinner. It turned out that he was pretty handy in the kitchen, especially with a knife. Go figure.

 

Steve finally emerged when Darcy was setting the table for dinner, looking better than he had all day. He was completely oblivious to Bucky's presence in the kitchen as he entered the room.

 

"Something smells amazing." He complimented as he sat at the table.

 

"Aww, thanks Punk. I'm wearing a new cologne." Bucky teased as he joined Steve at the table, bringing a large dish of potato bake with him.

 

Steve startled a little at seeing Bucky, but recovered quickly. "Jerk."

 

It must suck being so used to hearing every little thing and going from being super-enhanced to super normal, Darcy mused as she brought over the bread rolls and butter. She sat opposite Bucky and they began to eat.

 

Bucky was the first to taste the fruits of their labor and he groaned at the first mouthful. "Doll, this is amazing. I think I'm gonna keep you." He said with a wink.

 

"Thanks! It's a family recipe. It's actually super simple. Potatoes, cream, cheese, garlic and bacon. It's my go to comfort dinner." She said, taking a bite herself and savoring the mouthful.

 

Steve began to eat his dinner, too. He loaded the potato bake onto a buttery roll and took a large bite. He groaned too. "This is just what I needed. I think Bucky and I are gonna have a fight on our hands, cause I'm keeping you too."

 

"Don't worry Steve. There's plenty of me and my cooking to go around. Plus, I like you better." She assured with a wink. Steve smiled at her proudly, then smirked at Bucky.

 

"You're breaking my heart, Doll." Bucky said, clutching at his chest.

 

"You'll live." She assured, taking another bite of her dinner.

 

They finished their dinner quickly, owing to two super-soldier appetites and one PMS-y appetite.

 

"Ok, any suggestions for movie night?" Darcy asked as they were all clearing the table.

 

"I've been meaning to watch The Hobbit." Steve volunteered. "I read the book back before the war, always wondered what it would like in a movie."

 

Bucky nodded in agreement, and Darcy was only too happy to watch Aidan Turner play Kili again. They settled on the lounge together, and JARVIS cued the movie up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so for those interested, here is the recipe Darcy mentions. 
> 
> 2kg of potatoes, 1 jar of thickened cream (heavy cream or whipping cream for my US friends), garlic (fresh or powdered, I prefer powdered) 500grams of bacon, grated cheese.
> 
> Peel and slice potatoes.  
> Mix cream and garlic - powdered is easiest, half a tsp.  
> Dice and pre cook bacon.
> 
> Layer in a casserole dish - potato, bacon, cream, cheese, potato, bacon, cream, cheese etc. Cook at 180°c for 2ish hours or until potatoes are tender. Top with cheese for last 10 mins, put back in oven til cheese is golden.


End file.
